It is with a heavy heart (and briefsa�� still above-average down there) that I pen my final Barneya��s Blog.
Dont forget the bro code bros You readers have been nothing short of legendary and truly mean the world to me, but I simply no longer have the time to help salvage your sad lives what with all my duties as a newly married man. To be clear, Ia��m talking about banging my hot wife – something none of you losers are likely to ever achievea�� but you know, keep fighting the fight and all that!
A bro is a bro not matter what Truly, I cana��t thank you enough for all the support youa��ve given me over these last nine years. Think about that for a second: nine yearsa�� thata��s just a few years short of a decade! Amazing. Ita��s hard to believe that what started as a clever, indirect way to help my pathetic best friend Ted learn to be awesome turned into something much more: a direct way to help pathetic people all over the world learn to be awesome. Again, I really couldna��t have done this without all of you. Thank you.
But I hope you dona��t feel like Ia��m simply abandoning you. It is my belief that in the over two hundred installments of awesomeness Ia��ve graciously provided, you now have all the tools (heh) you need to go out into the world and create your own legendary lives. Ita��s like each one of my blogs is a crystal of knowledge that Superman learns from in the Fortress of Solitude, only you had to read them rather than watch a projection of Marlon Brandoa��s head talk for hours on end. Youa��re welcome for that.
It occurs to me that since many of you are forgetful, lazy, or forgetful, that it might be helpful to package all of these blogs into one, coherent book so you can take it all in at oncea�� you know, call it a�?How to be Awesome,a�? and add all kinds of fresh, editorial commentary so therea��d be plenty of new and legendary wisdom to add to the mix? But thata��s probably a publisher decision.
Now while this news might come as a sad and sudden shock, I cana��t imagine being gone for too long. After this sabbrotical I might consider posting again, though the content will most likely center around being the most awesome and supportive husband one can be. Or I might just do another Playbook, Ia��m not sure.
So go, my Barnacles, take this wealth of knowledge and sprinkle a little Barney Stinson wherever you can. When you see someone sad, tell him to stop being sad and be awesome instead. When you see someone dressed like a crab fisherman with a hipster moustache, tell him he looks like an idiot and point him in the direction of the nearest reputable tailor. When you see a chick in tears because her boyfriend just left her, tell her almost anything because thata��s about as green as a green light gets. In short, do whatever you can to make your life legendary, because we only get one of thema�� until we lock down this whole cloning deal.